It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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