Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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