I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
