Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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