I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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