i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
