it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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