He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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