Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
