What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
420 ftw
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
