She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
