How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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