Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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