If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Randomize
