My brain says no but my pants say off.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
