Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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