Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Randomize
