i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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