I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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