Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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