I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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