In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
