Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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