Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
