She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
