i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
