There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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