Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I checked into jail on foursquare
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
