...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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