Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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