you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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