just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
