Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
