my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This is my gift to your gina
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
