It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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