we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
