I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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