Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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