thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
