after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
