If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
