I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
