we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
