: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
