why didn't you poke me back
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
