Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
