you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
