That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I need to wash the frat house off of me
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
