A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
