Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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